Birthday Thoughts

I'll start out by saying my birthday here was great. More people than I could have thought remembered, and I felt fully loved. Thanks to everyone who made it special.. Being woken up by singing, two birthday cakes, many text messages, many wall posts, and a skype date home. Who could ask for more?

Birthdays are days to feel loved. And usually, at least for me, it's a day to reflect on life and it's progression. I'm 24, and that's pretty young by most standards. That said, it's a year more than 23, and it's 10 years older than 14. I am getting older. Every one is, and it makes you think about how fast life happens.

I've never been afraid of death and I didn't understand why people would be. It's a moment of pain and then that's it. It's not like dying (usually) takes a really long time. There are some injuries that are more painful than some deaths. But anymore I don't think that's what people mean by saying they're afraid of death. I think fear of death goes beyond the fear of pain involved with the finishing of life. I think it's the not existing that gets to people. No one cheats death forever, and while there is technology for so much now days, we still have not invented something that will give us eternal life on earth. It's the inevitability of the day that we will finish actively effecting the world. Even for religious people who have strong beliefs about the afterlife, there's no experiencing it before it happens. There are ideas and there are words in sacred texts and there are stories of people who are dead for moments but return, but those are so subjective. We can't put our hand through to death and bring it back and see what it looks like. And we can't reach our hand into death and pull out ones who have gone before us. There's no going and coming. There's only going. And there's no sending reports back to people. Our consciously effecting the world is finished.

Even if you are not a deep thinker, not very philosophical, not into morbidity.. You have thought about it. Everyone has.

One side comment. My sister died 7 years ago, and this does effect my view on the end of life as we know it. This is from a poem by John White Chadwick.

"More home-like feels the vast unkown,

Since they have entered there;

To follow them were not so hard,

Wherever they may fare."

The thought of death is easier when someone that you love a lot has passed through before you.

That said, it's still hard. And there's no way out of it but accept it. Cause living a life in constant fear of it's ending is no way to live. It's a life of constant death.

But.

Living life as if there was always a tomorrow is no way to live either. Because then you get to the end and you're like, "Wait, what?! It's done?! I'm not ready!" How awful and devastating that thought is. I think the right balance is keeping in mind how old you are. Living so that your life is full whatever age you are: keeping your relationships strong, letting go of those relationships that are empty and not life-giving to either of you, being at peace with God, doing those things you love without fear. And also, living so that your future, your next year, will be better. Doing a bit of planning. Improving yourself, gaining experience that you can add on to the next year, and make your next 5 years more full.

The best thing would be to get to the end of your life, be on your death bed, and be able to say "Wow, what a life! I'm so tired! I'm ready to go. A full life that will keep effecting the world for years to come. Kids that will contribute positively to the world. People who will miss me and feel there is a hole in the world because I'm gone. A community that is changed. People who love God more because I affected their lives. Full." To be ready to let our life speak for itself without our bodies to speak for it. What I mean is, our lives will echo once we're gone, and to let that echoing start. To be ready...

I realize that this post is a bit of a downer, but that's life for you. There's a time to be very present in the moment and be lost in the activity around you, and there is a time to step back and be a bit more philosophical and check and make sure that in those moments of being present and engaged in the activities of the day that you're living out your philosophy of life that you develop when you're thinking your deeper thoughts.

I think to be ready for death also involves being at peace with God.

My faith is only legit BECAUSE I will die. It would be stupid to be a Christian if we lived forever.

"If for this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are all people most to be pitied."

But..

"But in fact, Christ has been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who have died. For since death came through a human being, the resurrection of the dead has also come through a human being; for as all die in Adam, so all will be made alive in Christ."

I Corinthians 15

So yeah. Anyways regardless of religion we don't know exactly what it's going to be like over there. On the "other side". Such an image of crossing over, and the bridge only goes one way!

But I like the end of Chadwick's poem. It's honest about the fact that we know nothing about the next life, except one thing.

"They cannot be where God is not,

On any sea or shore."

I know nothing about what's next after death. Except that I will be with God. And whatever that looks like, whatever "sea or shore", He can worry about. I'm satisfied knowing wherever I will be, God will be there. Created meets Creator and never looks back.

Christmas.

I bought an oven. Basically it's a tin box that sits on top of the stove, but I have some great Christmas-cookie-expectations for it.

Except for the occasional memory that hits me about Christmases at home, I'm really doing ok being here for the Holidays.

But I'm not passing over the season. I'm definitely embracing it. I play Christmas music on itunes a lot, and have started plucking them out on the guitar. This years song of obsession is "It's Christmas" by Coconut Records. Something about it's 70's music feel, it's simplicity.. I play it constantly. Also, Zooey Deschanel's "Baby It's Cold Outside"... I just love her voice. So classic.

I haven't understood yet what Indonesian Christians do for Christmas yet. My family has yet to set up a Christmas tree or any decorations at all, for that matter. It may have to do with the fact that my host mom had a bad seizure a couple of weeks ago and has been going to the hospital for therapy every other day since. Some of the neighbors in the hood have Christmas trees up. They're little though, and there are only about 3 neighbors in the area that are Christians, so it's not like the place is lit up.

I've been to two church Christmas celebrations. Well, one of them was a church birthday with some Christmas songs thrown in. The other was in Semarang and the church group took a bus from Kudus and met up with a church there. It was like a Christmas service would be in the US, with a candle lighting, but then there were also some non-church songs which I thought was interesting. Not bad, just interesting. Like "Oh Christmas Tree" and some Santa songs. It didn't make me homesick like I thought it would. Maybe because a fellow SALTer showed up to the event and we sat together and we were able to snicker and exchange observations.

Homesickness hits me at weird times. Once in October I was at a church play and they played a praise song in English and I lost it. Just started crying. I was alone in a big congregation and didn't have anyone I knew sitting with me. Maybe that was it. Other than that, there have been no times of pit-of-the-stomach homesickness. Just, missings.

Sometimes, to be honest, I miss the food from home more than the people.

There, I said it.

But I do miss the people too.

My Christmas plans are as follows:

-Bake Christmas cookies and not burn down the house (having the cookies actually turn out and not burn would be an added bonus. Low expectations is the way to go.)

- My mother sent me some Christmas decorations and I have put them up. They include a gold glitter star, a huge plastic door hanging, and window clings. The tacky (ok Mom, it IS tacky and you know it. I do love it though, and I play the little music and the flashy lights at least once a day.) door hanging is up (It's a full length plastic sheet with a manger scene and some lights that blink and sing when you press a button) and the gold star in on my computer desk. The clings are yet to be put up.

- On the 20th I will take Christmas cookies to the school for teachers and students. This will serve two purposes: The 20th is my Birthday, and it is customary here for people to treat others on their birthday, and I want to share with the school my culture and part of that is Christmas and it's cookies.

-On the 22nd I will travel to Salatiga for the annual office Christmas party. Cookie decorations, a dinner, and a white elephant gift exchange will be involved.

The next day I will either stay in Salatiga and do some more baking and festiviting or I will head to Semarang and see some of the Christmas lights at the mall there. And buy a peppermint mocha from Starbucks.

-I will spend the 25th at my host families home in Kudus. There are several Christmas day church services I will probably attend. I may or may not be in one of them. Communication here is weird. Because it just doesn't happen sometimes. So sometimes you just have to go with it. Better that than get your panties all up in a ball and try to get information that will just change in the next couple of days anyway, which leads to a lot of frustration and unnecessary mental stress.

-Then Jerica and Amanda arrive the 28th and 29th and we head for a week of discovering and adventuring and relaxing on Lombok, the island next to Bali.

I'm excited for these things.

But mostly I'm really, really thankful for God-incarnate, Jesus. Christmas is critical to the Christian belief. God becoming man, coming to the earth to teach us how to live and to die so that we can be with him after we leave the earth. I can't find that kind of beauty and love in any other religion. It wins me over to the religion of Jesus.

Indo Wedding

Most of my students are between the ages of 18 and 23 but I'm sure this kid sitting in front of me is at most 16. But no, she's 18, and she just told me she is getting married.

Pang in the stomach. But you're so young! She's cute and she giggles behind her hand. Here in Indonesia it's rude for a girl to show too much teeth when she laughs, so the girls are always laughing behind their hands. This is a little bit sad to me because I love seeing a huge smile and to think it's rude is just so.... culturally different. That's all it is. You know, living in another culture for 3 months has shown me really just how culturally prideful I am and I've had to check myself in the way I describe some of the aspects of culture that clash with my own. Some differences in culture are soft and aside from a "Oh, well that's interesting!" they're not too mind blowing but some cultural differences are really hard for me to not judge. Like getting married young.

I want to say that there's no way it can be alright and be a good thing for anyone, but I can't say say that. To see things without passing judgement is so hard, but it's a good lesson in grace and learning. I'm learning about a culture and giving it grace when it offends my own culture. And different is not bad. Different is interesting and different is challenging. It's ok, and I'm learning to embrace it.

But A.'s just so young and she's my student.... Not just a stranger pictured in the National Geographic or a population statistic or a vague idea in a Cross Cultural Understanding class... And here she is giving me a wedding invitation, giggling. Her light blue head scarf complements her dark features and her eyes are so bright.. How can I say no?! She looks so happy- of course I'll go. But I do express to her that I think that she's a very young girl to be getting married. S., our mutual friend sitting next to her across my desk, explains that in the villages people tend to get married younger. Well that makes sense, I've read that places. But her? Couldn't she break the trend? I ask her if she'll continue studying in the university after her marriage. Of course! And she has. I've seen her several times in my classroom since her wedding and not only is she present but she radiates happiness. How can I in turn not be happy for her? She's a rock star. Getting married young but staying in school, and based on her mega intelligent questions in class, she is still learning just as much as before.

I've been to a wedding in Indonesia before but I didn't know who was getting married and I just came, took a picture with the bride, eat a lot of delicious food, and left. This wedding was totally different- I got behind the scenes access and they let me take pictures even though I broke the rules and took some during the ceremony. It was amazing, and such a unique experience.

I arrive early- I think it was 7am. S and I eat some rice treats and drank a bottle of tea while we waited inside, sitting alone on the colorful carpet in the living room area of the house. Soon I am ushered in and got to see A. getting ready. She tells me she's been up since 5am getting ready. The evening before she sent me a text explaining that she was in the 3rd phase of a traditional, day-before-the-wedding cleansing process. I can hardly recognize her now! Her face is powdered and heavily made up. She's beautiful though, see for yourself.

After I snap a few shots and talk to her some I leave the tiny bedroom and sit outside with her classmates in a small area between the front living room and the kitchen. We eat Soto and talk about school. Many of them have been in a class of mine but I can't remember their names. We get re-introduced but my mind wanders and I forget their names again in seconds. All the names sound the same, and I can only say that because they say the same thing about American names.

She comes out and hangs out with us for a bit. "Hangs out" is not quite right.. She sits stiffly on a plastic chair and doesn't move a muscle because her head piece is pinching her face and she has a delicate flower sash draped across her that could fall off in a second. Her shiny silver head piece starts falling out so we have to readjust it. She's hungry, so a friend spoon feeds her some Soto. It dribbles down her chin and we scramble crazily to not let it mess up her make up. Finally it's action time and her classmates and I huddle in the middle room while she, her father, her fiance, and some religious and government men sit in the front living room. The ceremony begins. There are some prayers that happen between the legal proceedings and while I don't know what all is going on, A and her fiance are signing papers and the main man preceding over the ceremony explains to them their legal rights and roles. I'm still peeking from the middle room, not sure if it's proper for me to go into the other room or not. This is when I get in trouble for taking pictures at the wrong time.

After this ceremony A changes her clothes and her new husband disappears to his house. The wedding is happening at her house. She sits outside in a decorated wooden seat on a platform with a heavily flowered background as we all sit on plastic chairs around tables of food and glass bottles of tea. The MC jokes around with the guests and we wait for the husband to arrive. When he does, a long and traditional ceremony takes place where different symbolic actions happen such as the bride and groom bowing at each set of their parents, the husband stepping on an egg and A cleaning his feet, money is transferred somewhere along the way, all the while the MC is speaking in very traditional Javanese explaining what is going on (later I find out almost no one knows what he is saying because there are several levels of Javanese and he's speaking the one least people know. I'm told this happens at every wedding.)

Finally it's picture time and after several pictures with A, her husband, and then classmates, I take off with S. In total I was here about 4 hours I believe. What an experience... I loved being a part of A's day and I'm glad she's still coming to school and this is not the end of her life- it's just another fase in it. We're having breakfast next Thursday and I'm excited to hear about how she's doing.

Resume

Every few months I have a mini break down where I realize that I cannot save the whole world right now, nor will I ever be able to save the whole world, and that the burden I put on myself to create the perfect resume that will land me the job where by the age of 27 I am saving the whole world from my desk with a view of the Empire State Building or the Capitol Building with a gourmet late by my side and an income exceeding 40 grand a year... Who am I kidding? Heck, now that I think about it is that even what I really want....

It's quite a load and I begin to see things as "What will this look like on my resume?" instead of "What does this add to my life?".

Resumes don't have anyone's name on it but your own. It doesn't reflect your quality of life. It reflects your academic and work achievements and attempts to give a possible future employer an idea about your ability to successfully fullfil job requirements. No one puts on their resume that they have a healthy body, a healthy mind, a good community of friends and peers who hold them accountable to be the best version of themselves.. A resume doesn't mention the quality of your relationship with your family or your outlook on life- if you are able to appreciate the small things and understand the meaning of living a full life. It doesn't mention if you are at peace with the Creator of the universe and have the right perspective about making a broken world less broken with the creativity and uniqueness you were made with.

I know these things are so much more important than what is written on a resume, but sometimes I get caught up in the rat race of the world and the bad economy and lack of jobs and the prospect of being out there in the job market again in about 7 months just gives me a headache and a heartache and I wonder if I have what it takes to make it. And then that brings me to think.... What does it mean to "make it"? What is dying well? One thing that still strikes me when I think about it, is that we are all going to die one day. From famous TV actors, to presidents, to multi millionaires.. Their fate and my fate is no different than absolutely anyone elses in this world. We all have one finite life to be lived, and none of us can get away from the question "What does it mean to make it?" What am I living about?

Sometimes I feel panicky when I think that maybe I will die not being known very well in any area of work.... In development or politics or writing or theology... That I will not have made a mark in any of these and that 2 generations after my death maybe a handful of people will know my name. I dont know though.. Because then I think- better to be known while I am alive, then work all my life and neglect relationships so I can be known after I die. Not that I think that anyone who has ever made a mark in the work world has neglected their relationships. I'm just saying that if the stress of making my resume better is putting stress on my relationships, it's not worth it. Let it go. Be where you are and do what you need to do to take care of your mind, soul, spirit and relationships where you are, and think about your resume later.

The world is not meant to be carried on a single pair of shoulders and I think when it does it's really a shame and ignores that fact that I'm part of a bigger humanity. We're not in this alone, and no one steals the show, because no one lives forever. Death means that our role in this world ends, and hopefully we will have done something to bring peace and redemption to the broken areas in us, around us, and between us.

I can deal with that. Since I have the bigger picture about life after death, there's nothing in that last paragraph that I can't live with. I have a hope in humanity (because I have a hope in the One who became human and by redeeming us, showed us how to live and how to work to redeem the world around us) and I have hope in the role of an afterlife that is just as lively and legit as life on earth.

So now that the world is off my shoulders, I see it was never meant to be there anyways. I will have an "Ugh life is too big for me, this burden is too heavy!" moment again in a few months but hopefully truth will hit me over the head again and I will be able to refocus before going insane.

That said, I need to get out of my head and out of the open Word document entitled "Resume 2010" and engage these people around me, starting with creating a power point for the Writers Forum at the university tomorrow and then visiting the work girls at the store next door. And write some emails to some people I miss a lot back at home. :) And make some tear-out snow flakes for my room. I love Christmas time and I don't care if it's 110 degrees outside, it's going to look like Christmas in here.!!

Update on life

I realize it's been a while since my last blog entry and it's not because I haven't been doing anything worth blogging about. Often I'll be engaging in an awesome, unique activity and think, I so need to blog about this later! But when your internet is iffy and everyday you have those, "I need to blog this!" moments, time gets away from you and before you know it it would take 15 blog posts to relay your crazy stories.

I haven't been doing a very good job of personal journaling either which I'm mad about. Sometimes life's too busy and I'm too tired to go through the motions of remembering and writing.

This month of November has been hot. Maybe it's because at the moment I'm sitting in my underwear with a fan pointed blowing toward me and I'm still sweating, but I do feel like this month has been warmer than months past. I shower in the morning, shower right as soon as I get back from school, and usually shower right before bed if I have the energy.

In the beginning of this month we had MCC Indonesia team meetings in Bandungan. That's near Salatiga (where the MCC office is and where we had language training) and much higher than Kudus so it was colder. Actually, it was legit cold. I loved it. It was a great reminder that it's cold back in the US now too. It felt right. Team meetings were so great.. It had only been 2 and a half weeks since we started at our assignments but it was still good to be back with the office people from Salatiga and the other SALTers. I miss native English speakers and people who are accustomed to my culture when I'm in Kudus. I miss like minded people who understand the meaning of my being here and understand who MCC is and why I am here. The greater goal and vision. It was a crazy team meetings because of the natural disasters that had hit and were hitting Indonesia. The tsunami and earthquakes off the coast of Sumatra and the floods in Papua were over, but there were still relief efforts happening to address them. And then the Merapi eruption was still going on and people were being evacuated and then shuffled around as the danger distance increased around the volcano, so Jeanne, MCC Indonesia director, was both leading team meetings and trying to coordinate and work with MDS (Mennonite Disaster Services) to address the volcano craziness. It was great for me, actually, to see her "in action". I got to hear and see what MCC is about. We made lists and talked and our voices (even us one year SALTers) were listened to. I definitely feel a part of MCC Indonesia and appreciate that I am here not on my own but a part of a bigger effort to serve this country. We watched some good documentaries (ok, I slept through half of one but it started at like 8:30pm and we had had a pretty early morning and a full day that day so don't judge), eat some good food (some American chocolates, pretzels, and Karen even brought candy corn!!!!), had good discussions on the vision of MCC Indonesia, were updated on MCC's response to the natural disasters, talked about plans for MCC Indo team retreat in April (Bali?), and just hung out with each other.

It was at a beautiful green cabin-ish place and I loved the fresh feel. Kudus is pretty muggy, stuffy and hot.

Teaching has been good. It's not easy for sure and my patience gets low at times but I enjoy talking to the students and helping them understand new concepts. I've started making powerpoints and the students like the pictures and I think them reading the bullet points as they hear me speak on them is good for their learning. I teach about 2 classes a day and then spend a couple hours at my desk either talking to the professors, making power points, or talking to students who stop by. There is usually a professor in the class with me and I am technically an assistant. Some classes I only talk for about 40 minutes and other classes I have the whole time. My schedule is strange and not very consistent because the English dept director would like me to visit every class at least once so there is a lot of repeating information and new names to learn but I've started repeating classes a bit so faces are beginning to look familiar and I have started begin able to open up strait with teaching and not a long intro about who I am and what I'm doing at UMK. Starting next week I am meeting with groups of students outside of class a couple times a week and I think that will help with their opening up with me. They tend to be shy in class and that's hard when I'm teaching a class called "Speaking". They're great kids though and I'm looking forward to the rest of the year. The meetings outside of class will allow us to talk about subjects of peace and current events and I'm excited to engage their minds with some critical thinking opportunities.

I'm getting sick of the food here a bit. I'm tired of rice and have started eating mainly either toast or cereal in the morning. Just everyday the same thing is tiring. I feel like the food has many names but much of the same ingredients. Rice, peanut sauce, chicken, meatballs, noodles, broth, sambal. I'd like to start cooking at home more and creating some meals similar to what I'd eat at home. At least once in a while. I'm thinking about biking into town now actually, to buy pasta and Presto sauce and make spaghetti for dinner. It's a bit expensive though.. The pasta is maybe RP 10,000 and the sauce RP 30,000... That's not much in US dollars but when you can get a full meal here for RP7,000, RP 40,000 becomes a lot. Plus I'm not sure if I have enough energy to face the traffic and the stares and the heat.

I've been sleeping a lot and I'm sure if it's because I'm sick and don't know it or if it's the heat starting to wear on me or if it's just normal. I sleep 8 hours a night and often can sleep two hours in the afternoon after school. The heat is just so tiring... I read a lot too. I've read several books and instead of boring you here by listing them, I think I will start a tab on my blog labeled "Books" and review them there. I've been reading random things.. Suspense, romance, memoirs, economics, poetry, modern history, religion... Just a mix of stuff I brought from the US on my kindle and then some from the MCC library. I love reading here. It's super for relaxing and provides an escape for my mind, plus I have time here that I didn't have when I lived in the US. It's crazy.. I will go to school at 7am and stay till noon, and then I might have an activity in the afternoon or at night but then that's all I can handle. My mind can't take any more stimulation than that. It's exhausting, being in these new situations. It's so so great for sure. But all the newness and hyper awareness tires a mind out and there needs to be greater time for rest than when I'm home in my comfort zone. For example I went to school at 7 today and then went home at 12:00. There was a wedding from 1-2 which I went to but then when I got home at 2:30 I was done for the day. Ready to not have anymore activities. I gauge myself.. I want some engagement with people and the culture everyday aside from classes in the morning. So either meeting a friend for baked chicken, going to a church meeting, participating in praise and worship somewhere, going to a wedding, visiting a family...... I don't want to get into the habit of going to school and coming home and reading all day. I could definitely do that but that's not why I'm here.

Because I don't have my art supplies, I think creativity in this time in life will come in the form of words so I decided to start another blog where I will talk about less personal things and more opinions and essays on current events and write some stuff on Indonesia. Hopefully it will be quality and something I can put on my resume. I know I haven't had time to blog much this month so you may be skeptical that I can handle another blog, but I think that if I severely limit my facebook time (which I plan to do anyways... With Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up, my spirit can't take looking at everyone's punkins and family gatherings and bright lights and cozy homes.. Nope, not healthy for me. ) and read a little less I'll have time to journal, blog here, and blog on the new blog. We'll see.

:)

I'm happy and healthy. Missing home a little more often then in past months but excited for Jerica and then my sister to come at Christmas time and before I know it it will be spring then summer again and I'll be saying tearful goodbyes.

Glimpse Java!

I have decided that Indonesia and I have a relationship akin to that of an arranged marriage. I did not decide to come here because I was deeply in love with the country, I didn't get to date the country before and find out if we would be a good match... We just got put together because it was the most practical solution to the current need. Because of that I think that I have not really had a honeymoon period. I've had moments where I've been more impressed with the country and moments where I'm less impressed and a little more critical of what I see, but there hasn't been a big turning point where things start going down hill emotionally and where I am constantly missing home and struggling to see the positive in this culture.

While I'm beginning to form a routine and stick to a schedule, there are still new adventures and lessons everyday and I'm looking forward to continuing to getting to know this town of Kudus and the unique things she has to offer.

Last week I went to a small "warung" (food shack) with a girl I met through a friend of a friend and had roasted corn with wicked spicy sauce and ice tea. Afterward I rode with her on her scooter to the big town circle, bought avocado juice, and walked around the little park. The talk was sweet and I realized that I could get used to these things being my social life. In the states there are countless ways to socialize. Almost too many. Maybe not almost. Maybe too many. Regardless, there are less here. There aren't coffee shops. But there are warungs and baked corn. There aren't malls (actually there are but not in Kudus) but there's the town circle with some grass and places to walk. There aren't a ton of people I can socialize with who understand my culture, but there are books. There are ways to make life here and I'm getting to know them and while I didn't plan on this country, I'm pretty sure I'll be sad to leave once the time comes and there's a good chance I'll be able to say I'm leaving a part of me here. Also like arranged marriages, I think I'll slowly come to love this place, as opposed to love at first site and big, romantic expectations for life here.

Happy news: I'm no longer sick. *cheeeers*

And since I've overcome this poo poo problem, I feel it's time to hunker down and switch from survival mode to living mode. Pull out my pen and sketch book, dust off my guitar.... Do those same things I do at home in the US, but here. Decorate the room, figure out a laundry system where my underwear wont get stolen (down to 3 pairs. wth), start makin' my own food (I have been craving chocolate chip cookies for days now), do a little grocery shopping, make a budget, take my vitamins daily... Ridin' solo in Kudus and makin' it a good one.

Oh my goodness ok. I write way too much about myself on here.

......

Want to get to know Indonesia?

She's an archipelago of 17,000 plus islands in Asia. Actually, more commonly she's referred to as Asia Pacific, hanging out below the Philippines and above Australia, and bordering Malaysia, Papua New Guinea, and Timor Lorosea.

Crazy history but in short: colonized by Portugal, the British, and mainly Holland.

People: Malay decent, Javanese, Chinese decent/Chinese immigrant.

Her position in the Ring of Fire means that crazy natural disasters visit often and can create a sort of fatalism in people's thinking. There are earthquakes, volcanos erupting, and tsunamis not to mention mudslides and other rain-induced problems. Like floods.

Natural disasters this past month:

Flash flood in Papua

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-11491126

Merapi volcano eruption

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-11625154

Tsunami near Sumatra

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-11632982

I think this is not the norm, just a super active month. It's exciting. And scary. And heart breaking, cause those people in the pictures are not "tho

se" people over there, far away. They could be my neighbors. Uh, the ARE my neighbors... So be in prayer to Jesus for them, please?

Here are some Indo glimpses......

This is Soto.

famous in Kudus but better (to my tongue..) in Salatiga.

Ingredients: lemon grass, lime leaves, bean sprouts, garlic, tumeric, salam leaves, cucumber, ground pepper and white pepper, salt, limes, chicken, fried onions.

This is a rice paddy. They are beautiful, and they are everywhere,

and they provide our daily food.

There are motor bikes EVERYWHERE. They are the main mode of transportation. I do not have one. I ride a bicycle (lame compared, I know)..

This is jagung bakar- grilled corn. Ridic good, especially smothered in spicy love sauce that will burn your lips off.

These are what we often sit on when we eat in warungs. They are colorful, and they are everywhere. Cheaper than chairs, and prettier.

This is a wedding. I didn't get a good picture of the bride and groom dressed in traditional clothes, unfortunately. But you can see how the place is decorated and the two on the left up front are dressed traditionally. They're a sort of brides maid and groomsman.

This is a view of mount Merapi (taken from Salatiga) now billowing smoke and spewing lava. This is pre-eruption.

This is batik- cloth dyed into beautiful pictures by drawing with wax.

Super traditional, its everywhere. Clothes are batik, wall hangings, bed sheets, table cloths.....

And that's all for now. More to come about life on Java.

Adventures in Kudus and elsewhere. Week one.

Wow, okay, let me get my mind around this... It's been only one week since I started teaching...?! How is that even possible... Maybe it's because I still haven't created a rhythm and a schedule or maybe it's because every MOMENT is a new adventure, but woah.. All the emotions and happenings in the last week could comfortably fit in the time span of a month and I would not think life was boring. Where to even start....

Let's start with last Sunday. I'm just going to put this out there: Mennonites have too many committees. There are conferences and synods and committees right and left and I get so confused trying to figure them all out. Also, Menno

n

ites travel a ton (I'm being super general here.. I've only been exposed to them in the last 2 months, so this is just my impression from the little, though intense, exposure that I've had). And last but not least, they are ridiculously nice, open minded, and overall I like them a lot. There was a semina

r this past week and my Pak (host dad) has been ba

ck and forth all around central Java taking Canadian Mennonites everywhere. I've had the pleasure of meeting them and picking their brains on everything from good books on development to schools they've attended and jobs they've had to what life is like in Bangladesh. It was profitable and they gave me the time of day a

nd blessed my heart.

This all went down Friday through Sunday. Saturday

we spent the day picking up a Canadian Mennonite from the airport who would be teaching at the seminar. The rain delayed his flight, and we ended up coming home at 11:30 pm which was wicked late considering we had to leave for church at 5am the next day. Thankfully there is such a thing as Indonesian rubber time and we

actually left at 5:45am the next day.

Church was good. One of the Canadian Mennonites spoke and had some positive things to say about how men in the church are supposed tak

e on the role of a good house wife in their work in the c

hurch. I think it's always a hard balance, being both a leader and a servant. Like, the role of deacon was formed because the preacher couldn't effectively preach and serve tables. But yet we are all instructed to serve. Some serving is just dirtier than other forms of service and less appreciated, but I think everyone, including those who preach, need to get their hands dirty once in a while and scrub the church floor, clean the dishes after the fellowship gathering, and do nursery duty. To prove a point. That when we pick up the cross of Jesus, we lay down our statuses. We are the same in Jesus- Jews, gentiles, servants, masters, men, and women. And may I add- pastors, pastors' wives and husbands, deacons, etc. Nothing is too dirty or unimportant for any of us to do, regardless of our degrees and titles.

Traditional music accompanied the singing and gave me a he

adache. It's a choir of gongs and symbols and xylophones but they are slightly off tune and shrill and while they're awesomely creative and unique in their sound, they are a little disturbing to the ear used to traditional melody and harmony and..

well, un-confusing music. But it was great to see the church incorporate some culture into the service. Go them. By the way, the music is called Gamelan http://www.asiarecipe.com/indomusic.html.

Something that surprised me after church was everyone's clamor to take pictures with me "For my facebook profile pic!!" I felt slightly harassed and a little embarrassed for the adults behavior about it. Just, a cultural difference I guess. I forget how.... I guess the appropriate word would be "exotic"... I am to them. Most of them have never seen a white person up close. God grant me patience. No seriously, I need patience because if you know me you know I like personal space and the touching drives me nuts sometimes. So far I have done quite well with it but I a

m a little concerned I might snap one day and break someone's camera phone.

Later on that day I was able to go to the beach with Joel and his brother and friends. Oh man... It was gorgeous. The SALTers took a trip to the beach once during language training and it was cool, but it wasn't the traditional touristy beach with white soft sand and blue clear water. This was. And I was not expecting it to be, so it took be a while

to take it all in and r

ealize it was for real. I still can't believe it was this beautiful and I can't wait to go back.

I know.. Ridic beautiful, right? Blessed to have found that place and definitely planning to return.

Monday school started. Pretty crazy..

I get my own desk, which I love. I've already put some pictures and cards up. Family, Micaela from Portugal, and Cassie and Kena. You all made the cut, congratulations. Well, I spilled coffee on my desk and Kena and Cassies faces are now slightly distorted. Sorry chicas. I still look good in it so the pic is staying. lol

My favorite card says this: Go into the world and do well, but more importantly go into the world and do good. It reminds me that "Result is not the goal"- according to Putut, my Bahasa Indonesian teacher who has been a great encouragement to me. There are bigger things going on behind the scenes and I need to remember that while I am teaching English, there is a lot more learning happening that is not measurable and may not be super evident to me. The relationships that are being formed as well.. They are priceless.

Let me think.. More school stories...

There is a crazy man who comes in once in a while selling things. Well, more like everyday. He used to be a psychology student at the university but after he graduated he went insane and now wears his hair long and gray and knotty, usually dresses in short shorts, sox and sandals, a long sleeved and a short sleeved shirt, two scarves and a lot of jewelry. He's very nice though and funny as could be. If I ever go insane, I want to be like him. As long as I'm happy and oblivious to my insanity and embarrassing behavior, just let me go free and be nice to me and don't put me in an institution, ok? (Sometimes I wonder if I'm insane right now, and that everyone around me knows it except for me. Every wonder that? Maybe I've been watching too much Shelter Island.)

The teachers are so nice to me. They come by my desk and talk to me and it's my favorite part of the day. They bring me fruit or ask me academic questions or questions about my life here.. I feel like I'm building community with them and I like it. A lot.

I ride my bike to class everyday and get yelled at a bit. First, I'm white. Strike one. Then, I'm on a bicycle while everyone else rides a motorcycle. Strike two. And then I'm usually lost, therefore riding in circles. Strike three. They can laugh. I'd laugh too. And usually do.

I am teaching around 15 hours a week. That's two classes a day. As little as that sounds, I do get tired out easily and haven't built up the stamina to go to 3 classes a day. It takes creative energy to get the students talking and to make lessons up on the spot. I will be talking to the head of the English Department this week to see if I can't go up to 3 classes a day starting next week. I do appreciate them starting out slow with me though. The students are so great and I usually have a blast teaching and talking in class. I'm excited to start some more informal after school activities with them, especially the girls.

I'm supposed to be working in the community too but I haven't started. My position mentor is also my Pak and has not had the time to sit me down and explain what all is expected of me. So until that happens, I will keep using my time up in teaching, and after class either reading or socializing or sleeping.

I have read two books in about 2 weeks. The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls is hilarious. Also sad. She's a good story teller. I also read The Poisonwood Bible. Incredible book that I will be reading again with a pen in hand, and I strongly strongly strongly recommend it to you. As in, you should stop reading this immediately and go buy it. Buy it, not borrow it, because you will want to read it again and underline parts. Just a good commentary on people, on missionary work, on life in general. Quality writing right there.

This weekend I went to Samarang with Joel. We left on Friday after school and stayed till Sunday, just now. What a crazy weekend. It deserves a post all for itself.

To get there, I rode my bike to Joel's house and then two girls who were friends of a friend of a friend of mine took him and I to the terminal. But not before picking up catering and taking it to their house. I had no idea what was going on. Or who they were. (You just gotta go with it....). Then we took a bus for an hour and then we took a taxi into town to my friend Vivi's house. So many diff forms of transportation. Then we went to a 5 hour long church birthday celebration which I will write more about in a moment.

Joel lost his wallet. Then we found it in a taxi the next day. Then Tye, Joel and I went to a movie and ended up being scarred for life and walking out before the movie ended which was about an hour too late. Then we spent the next couple of hours recuperating with ice cream and banana bread while Joel tried to get his money card back that the ATM swallowed. Oh my goodness. There is definitely more to tell but I'm exhaust.

And there are some other thoughts pressing on my heart..

So we went to a 15 year celebration of a church. It went a little long and we ended up getting out of there at 11:00. It was a crazy church- super lively and I loved it. (The parts I understood.) I've had quite a lot of different church experiences here in Indonesia. It's had an interesting effect on me. It's made me super non comital about denominations. Also made me weary of saying any way is best as far as how Jesus is worshiped and learned about. It's also made me miss my church back at home a lot. I'll say it- I know God a certain way. I know him in a way that is comfortable to me. My upbringing and personal and unique style of thinking and searching has made me find a perspective and view of God that works for me. Not that there isn't sacrificing and struggle and learning, but it's in terms of my ability to understand God based on my culture- it fits me, fits into my mind, and makes sense to me.

He has come to me in a way different than people here. And that's ok, because my culture is different. Yeah, we serve the same Jesus, but he sure does look different to different people sometimes. I wonder how that works. Jesus is one, but cultures are many. How flexible is the Truth of Jesus? Is it ok that some churches have speaking in tongues and some don't? That some have adults moshing to praise music and some have solemn hymns? Is it ok that I form my praise style around the Jesus that I know and my culture has allowed me to know? Is it okay that while I appreciate the many different styles of Jesus-loving that I have come to know, that I will pick and choose what seems best to me, based on my understanding of truth? Because everything we know about Jesus passes through our head and our eyes that have presuppositions and a personality and a perspective and life experience and a unique tendency to certain ways of thinking and understanding.. God is sovereign over those things, I know. But still in his sovereignty he allows diversity in how his children view him. That's so... weird... to me..

And it makes me super turned off to trying to make people view him as I do (not in terms of big picture doctrines like the divinity of Jesus, but in terms of issues like...Do we need water to be baptized? Can we lay hands on people? Speak in tongues? Can women preach? Should couples date before marriage? What does the day of rest look like? Can Christians be rich? How much is true tithe? How long should a church service be? What version of the Bible should be used? Is cursing ok? How about smoking? How about working at a tobacco factory?). It has, however, presented me with some ways that my personal loving of Jesus can be improved. I will never wholly adopt someone else's or another denomination's view of God. But I can be challenged to re-examine my relationship with Him and improve it.

Also..

It's reminded me that America is not where it's at as far as Christianity is concerned. We get a little lost in our own America-world and forget that the HS is alive and well in very many other countries and that we would do well to stop sending our missionaries out but start supporting indigenous church and community support movements abroad. Yeah, I'll say it again. We would do well to not send missionaries out, but to send learners out, to find those places where Jesus is alive in his people, and to learn afresh the trueness of Jesus' cross-cultural message. And then to go back to the American churches, and teach the lessons learned abroad, and present them with the financial and prayer needs of the churches abroad. Build mutually beneficial relationships. Instead of "Here- we'll give you one of our members because your country needs Jesus," it perhaps should be "Here- please host one of our members because we desperately need to learn from you and your love for Jesus, and we want to know how to effectively share our gifts with you to help you serve your people better, and in turn you will fill our need of a fresh and different and unique perspective on Jesus."

And now there is a roach walking across my floor so this post is done.

Peace.