Expectations

I've been in Africa a week. Wow. Amazing. It has been more chalenging then I thought it would be, but at the same time, I didn't really think a lot about it before I came. I pretty much kept an open mind on how it would be. I'll tell you what I didn't expect though, was the backwardness of this place. I was talking to Bob about it tonight and he said Egypt is about 20 years behind China. I thought there would be malls. I thought that there would be computer shops. I thought more people would speak English. I didn't know so many women would be waring higabs (veils). I thought it would be more advanced in technology. But alas, I've found no malls, no computer shops (though some internet cafés), and few English speakers. I'm told "I love you" about 5 times a day by random men. No one has grabbed me though. I'm afraid, for their sakes, of someone grabbing me. I just can't see myself passing it off. I'd whack them then give Americans a bad name. People here in general like Americans and are very kind to us though. Men and little boys are the ones who are sometimes disrespectful to us woman, but men have it great. I thought I'd see more women out and about during the day but I see many more men than women. That's hard because it limits who I can talk to- limits practicing my Arabic. Again, the guys have the advantage. MESP sent us a list of things to bring and things not to bring and on it they said to bring 3/4 length to full length sleeved shirts only. We'd be able to wear short sleeves some places but not very often at all. But now that we're here we're told it doesnt really matter. Shorts are innapropriate, but we're allowd to wear jeans whenever and they don't mind us wearing short sleeves. I personally wear a cardigan over my short sleeves when I'm out, and just take it off when I'm in my flat or at the MESP villa. I dont wear skirts very often. I see so many girls here not wearing them, I feel it's not disrespecting their culture to not wear them either. Dr D said something that really impacted me, and that's that we are cultural embassadors. These people don't see westerners that often, so to them we reflect the west, we are America.

I didn't expect to be so close to my group as I have gotten. They really emphasise community and love among the group. Two nights ago we had a commitment service, where we committed to unity and caring for each other. I hadn't really thought about that aspect of the trip before coming. Now it's central. It's not so easy for me, cause I'm a pretty independent person. I need my alone time. I love interacting with people but I can spend hours alone entertaining myself and be perfectly happy. But, getting closer to these people I've started to wonder if that independence is because I truly am an independent person or if I really long for dependence and more people around me but am too shy or insecure to pursue closer reltionships.

I didn't expect to get so sick of the food as I have already. We eat pita every day and for every meal it's there on the table, and after 7 days I'm ready for a break. I've eaten way too much falafel and shwarna... I've been apetiteless for 2 days and that's just hard... Trying to make yourself eat foreign food when you're not hungry...
I need to try kosheri.. I hear it's really good... And yesterday I had a hamburger from Naema which was good. We love Naema. It's wicked cheap and close to our flats. Plus it looks pretty clean. I got sick yesterday from something I eat and it was not fun.. I spent all of last night making runs to the bathroom.

I didn't expect Arabic to be so hard, but it is. While I can understand what people say often, and can communicate my way, through pointing, sound effects, and facial expression, to learn all those vocab words and to try to remember them when you need them is so trying. My memory is horrible anyways (though I did impress myself today by knowing all the 31 names of the people in our group).

I didn't expect to play the violin so much. I play for devotionals and played for the commitment service and will play for the old people in my community service on Tuesdays. I go to the Sisters of Charity orphanage. It was founded by Mother Teresa. My motivation for choosing that place to serve was wrong, but God has used it for good, and I'm finding that though I am not a person inclined to serve in the area of touch (playing with old people and babies) which is what most MESPers go there to do, there is a place for me there. That's encouraging. I spent yesterday making a sign they needed made, and drawing a picture of Mother Teresa on a big chalkboard. It was odd. I was drawing the sign and a sister came in and gave me a picture of Mother Teresa and told me to draw it on the chalk board. It looked really cool afterward, I was happy with it. So next week I'll be playing for the old people. I'm excited.

So basically there are a lot of things I'm facing that were different than I expected. Which, I kindof expected to not expect a lot of the things I'd experience here, if that makes sense. I'm going to work super hard and learn as much as I can here. It will soon be over and it would be a tradgedy to not have taken full advantage of the experience. To have just "gotten by"... I want to push myself and find that I can do more than I thought I could and take risks that I thought I was too scared to make, and see that I can become a deeper and a more mature person in my knowledge of people and Islam and world affairs... my knowledge of God. I want to know the roots of my faith, I want to know why I believe as I do and I want to know Jesus better.. as the Son of God, why He is not just a prophet, why I believe He is God Himself. I watched "the Message" tonight and it was amazing.. It's a movie about Muhammad and his life and the roots of Islam. I have to say, more interesting than our Jesus film. Maybe because I've seen the Jesus film about 400 times. The Message was so informative.
Why do I believe in the Trinity? Where is the trinity in the Bible? Maybe the doctrine of the trinity isnt so correct. What then? Does my faith crumble? What of my faith is the doctrine of man, and what is actual truth? Regardless of what I find, Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and I there's no way to get to God, but through Him. Of that I am sure.
I am aware of the fact that the more questions you ask the more questions you will have. Things dont get less complex as you dig. That's alright. Unanswered questions are better than unasked questions. Asking a question assumes you seeking. At least you'll know when you do find an answer.

peace and grace!