Congo. Burma. Haiti...... Phoenix

I'm applying for some volunteer positions abroad, and I'm having a really hard time.

I just don't know what I can do to help... It's hard to focus on the little I can do and be satisfied with that.

It's true that not every need is a call. There are needs in the Congo, in Burma, in Haiti.... But I'm not called to all those areas. I may be called to one of them, or I may be called to Brazil. And by "called" I mean that God works through life circumstances to get me somewhere. He closes doors to keep me from doing certain things.. For example recently getting let go of my job at the Melting Pot the day after I was hired. I'm not going to be effective if I concentrate on each of these three countries and if I tried it would be out of pride: a) Thinking that I could do all that and b) Thinking that I'm the "savior" that should be saving these three countries. That brings up another issue that is baffling me. How to get over the "white savior" idea. I hate that. And honestly, I don't want to "save" anyone. I want to empower people to save themselves.

Just giving people things... I dont know. It takes away from their humanity. If I lived in a refugee camp and all my food came from the World Food Programme and my tent came from the UN and my kid's meds came from Doctor's Without Borders... I just would feel like I was a burden on the world, when in actuality it is the institutions and the rest of the world that has put them in this position of vulnerability and choice-less-ness.

It's almost like it's not really charity- It's correcting our wrongs.

The burden of affluence is heavy and my heart is feeling it tonight.

Maybe viewing my affluence as a blessing from God that is to be shared and to be a blessing to those who don't have is the correct view. Naked we came into the world and naked we will return= our stuff and money is not our own and we are responsible to bless others with it. It's God's anyways. It makes me feel less like the "white savior" and more just like an agent. An investor who works at a bank and spends his life investing money thats not his.

In this sense, God is the only savior around.