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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Terima Kasih Tuhan

I'm in at the MCC office in the sitting area between the airconditioned meeting room and the courtyard that leads to Karen and Major's office. It's not AC'ed in here but the rotating fan is enough to make it comfortable.
Leanne just left to buy more sweet potatoes. She and Rea are making sweet potato casserole for Thanksgiving dinner but the potatoes they bought were bad so she took them back. Worms and such. Tye is on the computer typing and giggling away. Joel is on the internet and I am anxiously awaiting 3pm when I can stick my Green Bean Casserole in the oven. Nervous, a little. I mean, it's Thanksgiving dinner and if I screw up the Green Bean Casserole it's just not going to be the same. Funny, this is the second Canadian Thanksgiving I have celebrated in a row. Last year I was at L'Abri... I made rolls then. I think they came out well, I can't really remember... I can just remember how amazing the table looked and how Joel Smart and I made wreaths, wore them on the deck and took pictures. Then we got to drink wine.

Thanksgiving.

I think the giving of thanks is really important to God. I mean, he killed people in the Old Testament for not being thankful. Burned up cities I'm pretty sure. And if he didn't I'm sure he thought about it. Said some harsh words to Israel for their complaining, not to mention made them walk around in the desert for 30 years. After living in the desert of Arizona, that's pretty severe in my mind. Especially walking in circles. I wonder how many circles they walked in?

And why are we not walking in circles? Cause the Lord knows we complain just as much if not more than the kids of Israel. Does God have more grace with us or is he just not as involved/doesn't care so much about thankfulness anymore?
Maybe these questions come from my desire to walk in circles than accept the grace of Jesus.
Somedays I'd rather sacrifice sheep and somedays I'd rather walk in circles in the desert than accept the grace of Jesus for the forgiveness of my ridiculously loveless heart.
And sometimes I'd rather be a Catholic and pay for my sins through repetitive prayer than just have to sit in a state of grace and accept in my weak faith that no prayer but the prayer of Jesus on the cross will ever satisfy the Just cause of the Father's wrath.

None of that today though.. Just thankfulness for everything good in my life because I know that I am entitled to nothing. Compared with the nakedness I had when coming into this world, I have so much. Countless blessings throughout these past 23 years. From naked to clothed and fed and familied and living in all these foreign countries. I am blessed for the purpose of being a blessing to others and that fact helps me refocus the ever-tormenting question"Why do I have so much when others do not?" to thankfulness of heart coupled with giving to others with my time, love, and possessions. I still suck at it but it's a good goal and better than sitting in misery wondering why I am plagued by good fortune.
Really, seriously, what else is there to living life well but thankfulness and sharing? And how great is it to have a day to intentionally do just that?
I mean really.
This day is awesome.




4 comments:

R.W. High said...

Loved the intro story. Some great thoughts on a topic near and dear to mine as well...thanks for sharing, Juliana. Blessings from your Asian counterpart =)

Kriss Marr said...

Such beautiful, honest, and challenging words.. love you dear friend..

Bri DuPree said...

praying for you..iyou inspire my sis

Anonymous said...

"...sitting in misery wondering why I am plagued by good fortune."

Yep. Been there. Done that. Weird is't it? To use "Plagued" and "good fortune" in the same sentence. I'm glad you're coming to understand the purpose of it all.

Keep sharing with us all.
Mum