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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Thoughts and preparations

I got back from Portugal today and other than a complete inability to remember that it is Saturday, I feel like I'm adjusted to the time. Everyone else is napping but my brain is going 150 mph with eveything I need to get done in the the next 12 days. I'm so glad to not be working at the real estate agency during these days.. I'll need all the time I can get to see people, gorge myself on all the food I won't be able to eat in Asia, get forms filled out, clean my room out, sell my car, make art, and pack my bag. Oh, and buy all those weird travel things like those flash lights you charge by spinning the handle and those weird plug adaptors. I'm a list person and my favorite thing is to make a list and put little boxes next to the item and check them off once their done. Ah, it feels sooooo good.

Right now I'm sitting on the only free surface in my room- a corner of my unmade bed. My room is an embarrassing disaster and I can't think where to start. Leaving is hard but not as hard as the preparations that come before the leaving. Thing about goodbyes is they're more hard to think about than do, because once you actually come to the point of saying goodbye to people you are so freaking tired of packing and preparing and losing stuff and finding stuff and packing and re-packing that you just want to get the heck out of there.
I'm not there. I'm still in the excited, making lists mode.

But, saying goodbye in Portugal was very hard. I miss that place more and more and saying goodbye gets harder and harder because the lapses of time between visits are getting longer and longer. I have no idea when I'll be back there. That hurts.
It's so strange, so paradoxical- I LOVE that island and I consider it my favorite place on earth, yet I rarely entertain the thought of moving back there. People ask me if I'll end up there living there again and I always automatically say no. I dont know why. I guess I feel like I am not called to live there again, but at the same time I know God doesn't work against our desires. Maybe it's that there are places I know I will love more but I need to find them first. Does that make sense? Maybe I just need to live a little first and then I'll be back there. If I become a writer maybe I'll do that. It's a very inspiring place and our house has big windows and just screams relaxation. The muse is always active there, particularly in the bathroom. What?! You're going to tell me some of your best thoughts weren't originated sitting thinking on the toilet??!

This is what my current Bangladesh prep activities look like:
Printing all necessary MCC emails and docs.
Getting all my medical docs signed.
Cleaning the car and putting it up on...... all the places where people sell cars online (i.am.clueless.)
Completing reading a Vishal Mangalwadi essay on corruption and development and the book "The Open Secret" by Lesslie Newbigin. They're both good cultural prep books.
Also like I said before, eating US food like.....
- NYPD's buffalo chicken salad,
-bacon everything,
-cheese everything,
-coffee shop drinks,
-In and Out burgers, fries and shakes,
-ice cream, specifically cake batter and pistachio
-Blue Moon with an orange slice and sangria
-Munchies in Tempe
-home made brigadeiro
-meat EVERYTHING
-Olive Garden

And I really can't think of anything else but I'm sure I'll think of more to add.

Other than that I'm in contact with SALTers that were in Bangladesh who are now in orientation back in Akron and getting some tips from them.

My mind is overwhelmed but my heart is at peace and my spirit is so content.
I am b l e s s e d .


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